One of the best things about blogging, I suppose, is being able to just vomit out whatever crap may be swirling about in your head.
I've ducked out of sight for a while now. I toppled off the wagon, as it were. Not doing the Plus-Size Bloggers Challenge. Not doing Weight Watchers. Not doing anything, it seems, apart from eating my way through my particular frustration and lonliness and sadness and helplessness right now. I haven't stepped on the scales in weeks. I'm terrified of what they will say. And I'm even more terrified of what my reaction will be to what I see.
My sister and I went to a new shopping center that's been built near our house. She tried on cute dresses and sweaters and had a blast. I did everything I could to avoid the reflection of myself in shop windows. I feel fat and frumpy and altogether unappealing. I know that my attitude makes me that much more unattractive. Hello, Vicious Cycle.
Part of me wishes I could run away from my life for about a year to a fat camp. But I'd want the whole world to be put on hold...to be in a deep sleep, like in Sleeping Beauty, while I put myself in the hands of a Ninja of a Personal Trainer and had someone who *made* me eat right and *made* me sleep and *made* me do the things that right now I am having to *choose* to do. And I'm not choosing them.
I feel like a slave to my own life and bad habits. And I don't know how to find freedom. Just wanting it is not enough. I need to get on the right road *out* of this place, but I just seem to keep on staying on the inner lane of the roundabout...circling the landscape of my own bad decisions over, and over and over again.
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Monday, October 18, 2010
Plus Size Bloggers Weigh In - October 18
Current Weight - 343.6
Last week - 347.8
Beginning Weight - 348.8
So, this week I lost a total of 4.2 pounds.
I've lost 5.2 in all since the beginning of this challenge.
I have NO EARTHLY idea how I lost this week. I have felt out of control and miserable and have mainly lived the life of the great brown bear...slept and ate. (Sadly, I have not mated, but that is another blog story)
I feel heartened, without a doubt. I was honestly expecting to be back over into the 350's this morning which would have prompted a run through StarBucks for a lovely, creamy-filled Spiced Pumpkin Latte. And now, thankfully, I can do without it.
*phew* I feel like a dodged a bullet. I look forward to seeing how the rest of you critters did!
Last week - 347.8
Beginning Weight - 348.8
So, this week I lost a total of 4.2 pounds.
I've lost 5.2 in all since the beginning of this challenge.
I have NO EARTHLY idea how I lost this week. I have felt out of control and miserable and have mainly lived the life of the great brown bear...slept and ate. (Sadly, I have not mated, but that is another blog story)
I feel heartened, without a doubt. I was honestly expecting to be back over into the 350's this morning which would have prompted a run through StarBucks for a lovely, creamy-filled Spiced Pumpkin Latte. And now, thankfully, I can do without it.
*phew* I feel like a dodged a bullet. I look forward to seeing how the rest of you critters did!
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
What You Say....Matters
So, I've been living not-so-blissfully in the land of craptastic for the last few days. I'm having some family issues and some financial issues and some I Probably Just Need To Get Laid issues. And all of that, of course, translates into food issues. Why is it that we let things *outside* of our bodies affect what goes *into* our bodies so much? Well, I do that anyway.
So, this morning I had my regular breakfast which always works for me. And I don't get hungry until my morning snack, around 10, which is an apple, and then I'm good until lunch. But this morning I was hungrier than a homeless hounddog. So I grabbed a dollar bill from my purse, ran to the vending, and bought a BROWNIE. Oh yes, nothing like pre-packaged, God knows how old, faux brownie goodness to set things to the right. *eyepoke*
As I was opening up my brownie, I logged on so I could whine and moan *while* eating the faux brownie....and there they were....comments on my Plus Size Bloggers Challenge post....from people I've never spoken to. Strangers who came by to give encouragement and say hello. People who have no stake whatsoever in how I do or what I eat. People who read Jack Sh*t and Mrs. Fatass and RNTG and KNOW what GOOD BLOGGING looks like.
And yet, they took time for me.
I'm a little wibbly about it, to be quite honest.
So that brownie? Chucked into the trash. I polished my apple and grabbed a wedge of Laughing Cow Light Swiss and was good to go. Still am.
Thank you. You lifted me today. And THAT is a pretty considerable feat, lemme tell ya. You might want to take a rest now.
So, this morning I had my regular breakfast which always works for me. And I don't get hungry until my morning snack, around 10, which is an apple, and then I'm good until lunch. But this morning I was hungrier than a homeless hounddog. So I grabbed a dollar bill from my purse, ran to the vending, and bought a BROWNIE. Oh yes, nothing like pre-packaged, God knows how old, faux brownie goodness to set things to the right. *eyepoke*
As I was opening up my brownie, I logged on so I could whine and moan *while* eating the faux brownie....and there they were....comments on my Plus Size Bloggers Challenge post....from people I've never spoken to. Strangers who came by to give encouragement and say hello. People who have no stake whatsoever in how I do or what I eat. People who read Jack Sh*t and Mrs. Fatass and RNTG and KNOW what GOOD BLOGGING looks like.
And yet, they took time for me.
I'm a little wibbly about it, to be quite honest.
So that brownie? Chucked into the trash. I polished my apple and grabbed a wedge of Laughing Cow Light Swiss and was good to go. Still am.
Thank you. You lifted me today. And THAT is a pretty considerable feat, lemme tell ya. You might want to take a rest now.
Monday, October 11, 2010
Plus Size Bloggers Weigh In - October 11
Weight - 347.8 pounds
Let's hear it for a big poo!!!!
My goals for this week are to write everything down. Everything. Every nibble.
Let's hear it for a big poo!!!!
My goals for this week are to write everything down. Everything. Every nibble.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Plus Size Bloggers Weigh In: October 4
Weight: 348.8
Chest: 58 inches
Neck: 16 3/4 inches
Waist: 56 inches
Blarg.
I'm only going to check my measurements on the first of the month for this challenge.
Chest: 58 inches
Neck: 16 3/4 inches
Waist: 56 inches
Blarg.
I'm only going to check my measurements on the first of the month for this challenge.
I Officially Call A DO OVER On this Week
There are *so* many craptastic things that have marked this week that I hardly know where to begin. The one that is heaviest (haha pun haha) on my heart right now is the fact that Mr. Scale (that bastard) says that I have gained TWELVE FRIGGIN POUNDS since last week.
12. Ladies and Gentlemen, that is TEN PLUS TWO. SIX PLUS SIX. I mean, How the HELL did that happen? That's almost 7,200 calories A DAY OVER what I expended. I am a bit boggled. Part of me wants to utterly chuck my hands in the air and say screw it. But fear not, the other part of me is giving myself a rather harsh spanking and not in the good way. I know that there are things that could *add* to that number...Water Weight....Maybe I need to Poo. Maybe there are Tiny Green Men hiding in my panties. Very small rocks. Wev. Regardless, I've not done a good job of caring for my body this week and that disappoints me with myself. That's code, by the way, for "generally pisses me off". So we move on to the next week, right? We hit it again. I hit it myself. I write down the food. I find ways to move my body, even in increments. I stop whining about it and do something.
Second craptastic thing: Yeast infection. I won't give details on that, but I WILL say that I am all in a dither about where to scratch because there is not only the yeast infection but there is also POISON FREAKING IVY!!!!
Seriously. Just give me a pill and let me sleep for a week until this crap goes away.
I've been reading over at ReResults Not Typical Girl about the Plus Size Bloggers October Challenge I should do this? Y/Y?
Who want's to come join me?
Here's to a more healty, less itchy/scratchy week.
12. Ladies and Gentlemen, that is TEN PLUS TWO. SIX PLUS SIX. I mean, How the HELL did that happen? That's almost 7,200 calories A DAY OVER what I expended. I am a bit boggled. Part of me wants to utterly chuck my hands in the air and say screw it. But fear not, the other part of me is giving myself a rather harsh spanking and not in the good way. I know that there are things that could *add* to that number...Water Weight....Maybe I need to Poo. Maybe there are Tiny Green Men hiding in my panties. Very small rocks. Wev. Regardless, I've not done a good job of caring for my body this week and that disappoints me with myself. That's code, by the way, for "generally pisses me off". So we move on to the next week, right? We hit it again. I hit it myself. I write down the food. I find ways to move my body, even in increments. I stop whining about it and do something.
Second craptastic thing: Yeast infection. I won't give details on that, but I WILL say that I am all in a dither about where to scratch because there is not only the yeast infection but there is also POISON FREAKING IVY!!!!
Seriously. Just give me a pill and let me sleep for a week until this crap goes away.
I've been reading over at ReResults Not Typical Girl about the Plus Size Bloggers October Challenge I should do this? Y/Y?
Who want's to come join me?
Here's to a more healty, less itchy/scratchy week.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Yes, I *Did* Think I Could Just Breeze Right On By the Sunday Weigh In
Bleh. I gained a pound last week, so now instead of 100 in 50, I've got to do 101 in 49. LOL. Hay...I love upping the odds for myself. Double bleh.
So, this week, I:
1. got lost in the woods
2. battled through some serious jealousy and resentment of my sister
3. got a raise at work
4. contemplated moving to West Virginia (still on the table, by the way)
5. got a rash where there should never be a rash
6. discovered my kid's brighter than I originally thought
7. confirmed my dislike of soccer because of the insurmountable 1 to Nothing Lead
All in all, a rather thrilling week.
Look, I just report the news, you know?
In reality, my heart has been heavy over the needless deaths of kids who were bullied because they were gay. It seems like everyone everywhere is waging a campaign...Wear Purple on the 20th... It's all well and good, but it doesn't change the fact that there are some shitty people out there who will continue to be shitty. I don't know what the answer is.
I want to raise a kid who *doesn't* hurt other people.
I want to raise a kid who doesn't call the fat girl in his class "Big Mama".
I want to raise a kid who doesn't use words that shame and marginalize others just because they are different.
I want to raise a kid who stands up for others.
I want to raise a kid who is strong in himself, so that if he is the victim of such bullying, it doesn't change what he knows about *him*.
It scares the crap out of me, you know?..this whole "Mama" thing. Losing 100 pounds is NOTHING compared to THAT.
So, this week, I:
1. got lost in the woods
2. battled through some serious jealousy and resentment of my sister
3. got a raise at work
4. contemplated moving to West Virginia (still on the table, by the way)
5. got a rash where there should never be a rash
6. discovered my kid's brighter than I originally thought
7. confirmed my dislike of soccer because of the insurmountable 1 to Nothing Lead
All in all, a rather thrilling week.
Look, I just report the news, you know?
In reality, my heart has been heavy over the needless deaths of kids who were bullied because they were gay. It seems like everyone everywhere is waging a campaign...Wear Purple on the 20th... It's all well and good, but it doesn't change the fact that there are some shitty people out there who will continue to be shitty. I don't know what the answer is.
I want to raise a kid who *doesn't* hurt other people.
I want to raise a kid who doesn't call the fat girl in his class "Big Mama".
I want to raise a kid who doesn't use words that shame and marginalize others just because they are different.
I want to raise a kid who stands up for others.
I want to raise a kid who is strong in himself, so that if he is the victim of such bullying, it doesn't change what he knows about *him*.
It scares the crap out of me, you know?..this whole "Mama" thing. Losing 100 pounds is NOTHING compared to THAT.
Monday, September 27, 2010
My Deep Thoughts 4 U - What's Your Rush?
No, really. What are you in a hurry for? In the weight loss game, it seems that folks are all about the quick fix. (You know this…you know all of this…read it anyway.) Even in Weight Watchers, or when people are just “changing their habits”, there is an almost constant refrain of “I just lost a tenth of a pound this week” or “I’ve only lost 5 pounds in the last month” or “I’ve been working out for a year, but I’ve only lost 12 pounds” or “I stayed the same..didn’t lose ANYTHING” or, after losing for 4 consecutive weeks, “OH NOES, I GAINED A HALF A POUND!!!”
We need a new perspective on this process. We need to stop just talking about the concept that the most important thing is to “live healthy” and start really believing it.
If your idea of success in weight loss is to lose 5 pounds a week until it’s all gone, then you are *not* going to be a success. I know, I know…this is pretty easy for me to say coming on the heels of a 6.8 pound loss. But the reality is, I have a great deal to lose, so in the beginning it *is* going to go faster than someone with, say, 50 pounds to lose. And if you want to bitch about the unfairness of that, then here…you take my 336 pound ass and I’ll take your 200 and you can lose fast and I’ll lose slow and we’ll call it even.
It’s important to know what brought you to where you are. It’s important to recognize it…to look at all sides of it…to really get it in your head that the extra weight you carry is about more than just the fact that you sat at the table and ate more than you should. Calories in > Calories out may be the truth at the end of the day as far as the physics of your body, but unless you’ve got the right equation in your head, it’ll never work.
You’ve got to love yourself where you are. You’ve got to accept the you that you are *right* *now*. If you can’t accept that person, then you will forever find flaws with anyone else you become. You can hit your goal weight, but your thighs or your ass or your boobs won’t look like you thought they would. Or you’ll have the under the arm bat wings. Or your hair will have thinned some. And you will look at that you and you’ll *hate* it and go right back to your comfort food of mac and cheese or Wendy’s singles or McDonald’s fries.
I know that most of you will scoff at this, but find a way to enjoy your journey. Find a way to appreciate the wisdom of the things you learn along the way. Savor the anticipation of the next 5 pounds lost. Open your eyes to each little new thing your body can accomplish as it gets leaner and healthier.
Don’t wait until you are *there* to start living your life…to start appreciating who you are. Life is happening NOW. Grab it. Don’t live perpetually in the desire to be somewhere else.
We need a new perspective on this process. We need to stop just talking about the concept that the most important thing is to “live healthy” and start really believing it.
If your idea of success in weight loss is to lose 5 pounds a week until it’s all gone, then you are *not* going to be a success. I know, I know…this is pretty easy for me to say coming on the heels of a 6.8 pound loss. But the reality is, I have a great deal to lose, so in the beginning it *is* going to go faster than someone with, say, 50 pounds to lose. And if you want to bitch about the unfairness of that, then here…you take my 336 pound ass and I’ll take your 200 and you can lose fast and I’ll lose slow and we’ll call it even.
It’s important to know what brought you to where you are. It’s important to recognize it…to look at all sides of it…to really get it in your head that the extra weight you carry is about more than just the fact that you sat at the table and ate more than you should. Calories in > Calories out may be the truth at the end of the day as far as the physics of your body, but unless you’ve got the right equation in your head, it’ll never work.
You’ve got to love yourself where you are. You’ve got to accept the you that you are *right* *now*. If you can’t accept that person, then you will forever find flaws with anyone else you become. You can hit your goal weight, but your thighs or your ass or your boobs won’t look like you thought they would. Or you’ll have the under the arm bat wings. Or your hair will have thinned some. And you will look at that you and you’ll *hate* it and go right back to your comfort food of mac and cheese or Wendy’s singles or McDonald’s fries.
I know that most of you will scoff at this, but find a way to enjoy your journey. Find a way to appreciate the wisdom of the things you learn along the way. Savor the anticipation of the next 5 pounds lost. Open your eyes to each little new thing your body can accomplish as it gets leaner and healthier.
Don’t wait until you are *there* to start living your life…to start appreciating who you are. Life is happening NOW. Grab it. Don’t live perpetually in the desire to be somewhere else.
Sunday, September 26, 2010
100 In 50
I am back from my Weight Watcher's meeting and am the proud owner of One Shiny New Bookmark, which I got for coming back the second week, One 5 Pound Star (that bitch is heavy) which I got for losing my first five pounds and SIX PRIDDY PAPER CLIPS, which we collect for every pound we've lost. So yea me! I lost 6.8 pounds.
So, here's the deal Sparky, I am instituting for myself the "100 In 50 Challenge". I want to lose 100 pounds in 50 weeks. That's a safe, 2 pound per week weight loss. What is in 100 weeks, you ask? The answer is: My friend Amy's son's Bar Mitzvah in New York. There will be MANY, MANY, MANY friends there and I'm planning to stay long enough to play in the city a bit.
As I said on My Thunder Thighs, these are the things I have to look forward to if I can loose my 100 in 50:
*I will fit comfortably in the seat on the plane on the way to New York.
*I can wear some HELLA sexy shoes with whatever HELLA sexy outfit I wear.
*I will be able to dance the hora in said shoes.
*I will be able to hoof it all over Manhattan with my buddies.
So here we are at week 0:
336 pounds.
50 weeks to go.
Huh. I just put my weight out there for the entire interwebz to view. And I don't give a rat's patootey about it.
Imagine that. Funny what a decent sense of self will do for you.
So, here's the deal Sparky, I am instituting for myself the "100 In 50 Challenge". I want to lose 100 pounds in 50 weeks. That's a safe, 2 pound per week weight loss. What is in 100 weeks, you ask? The answer is: My friend Amy's son's Bar Mitzvah in New York. There will be MANY, MANY, MANY friends there and I'm planning to stay long enough to play in the city a bit.
As I said on My Thunder Thighs, these are the things I have to look forward to if I can loose my 100 in 50:
*I will fit comfortably in the seat on the plane on the way to New York.
*I can wear some HELLA sexy shoes with whatever HELLA sexy outfit I wear.
*I will be able to dance the hora in said shoes.
*I will be able to hoof it all over Manhattan with my buddies.
So here we are at week 0:
336 pounds.
50 weeks to go.
Huh. I just put my weight out there for the entire interwebz to view. And I don't give a rat's patootey about it.
Imagine that. Funny what a decent sense of self will do for you.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
In Which I Chuck the Idea for Today's Post In Favor Of Something Ever Much More Wonderful
Why are you even here reading this blog instead of over at *Results Not Typical girl????? I am NOT SO MUCH with linking, so wev, but FIND HER IN THE BLOGS I READ TO THE RIGHT. DO IT NOW!!!!
I hereby declare her to be Queen Of All Things Sparkly.
Anywho.
She's exhorting folks to toot their own horn, basically, which is an awesome thing because if we tooted more, we'd all be a little less gassy.
Stepping out into the blogosphere as I am doing here at Grits and Pieces is a huge step for me. I love the relative annonymity and fangirlish fun that is LiveJournal. I love catching up with all of my old school buds and family on FaceBook. But. I wear specific faces there. But right here...this here stuff is ALL ME baybee. No faces, no masks, nada.
So, if you are one of my old Bible Thumpin' buddies who have followed me over, you may find yourself occasionally offended by my mouth or my thoughs or my general "humanness". I have not been perfected by Christ yet, much as I'd like to make you believe I have.
If you are one of my precious Heathen friends, you may find yourself offended by the posts in which I share exactly what is in my heart...it might make you uncomfortable...it might make you think something different about the "person" I am and how I identify.
If you are one of my conservative friends or if your name is Joe, you might find yourself completely turned off by the times when I wax all poetical about my feminist viewpoint.
Likewise, if I know you through my feminazi loving blogs, you may find things I say an utterly INCORRECT SPOUTING of YOUR idea of feminism.
If you are my tree hugging friends, you may want to yell at the fact that I'm proud that I flush the toilet. (Yeah, inside joke..wot).
But THIS is ME. I'm a Christian. I'm a feminist. I'm a mommy. I'm sexually aroused by dark skinned men from California. I have political beliefs that I like to talk about. I certainly have religious beliefs I like to talk about. I am from the South and for all my fussing, I love the South. I'm fat and while I'm working on that, let me tell you....I LOVE ME...JUST THE HELL LIKE I AM. I may NOT lose another pound and I refuse to be miserable inside my own damned skin just because I don't fit someone's ideal. I'll be as healthy as I can be, both physically, mentally and spiritually. By the same token, flying sucks NOT because an airline sucks but because MY ASS IS TOO BIG FOR THE SEAT. The Fat Acceptance Folks probably wouldn't like me because while I'm all about being accepted, I don't think I need to be catered to. HOWEVER, if someone decides to cater to me, they are more likely to get my money. Hello free marketplace.
Anyway.
Wow. Verbal vomitation much?
So, here's why I'm awesome...I'm going to be me. Just me. Anyone I lose because I'm *me*, wasn't really mine to begin with yanoo?
Now, if I could just figure out how to insert that damned Smurfy Blog gif.
ETA: Well, I got the smurfy picture, but I don't have the slideshow thingy so now it just look like I have a thing for Smurfs. Don't judge me.
I hereby declare her to be Queen Of All Things Sparkly.
Anywho.
She's exhorting folks to toot their own horn, basically, which is an awesome thing because if we tooted more, we'd all be a little less gassy.
Stepping out into the blogosphere as I am doing here at Grits and Pieces is a huge step for me. I love the relative annonymity and fangirlish fun that is LiveJournal. I love catching up with all of my old school buds and family on FaceBook. But. I wear specific faces there. But right here...this here stuff is ALL ME baybee. No faces, no masks, nada.
So, if you are one of my old Bible Thumpin' buddies who have followed me over, you may find yourself occasionally offended by my mouth or my thoughs or my general "humanness". I have not been perfected by Christ yet, much as I'd like to make you believe I have.
If you are one of my precious Heathen friends, you may find yourself offended by the posts in which I share exactly what is in my heart...it might make you uncomfortable...it might make you think something different about the "person" I am and how I identify.
If you are one of my conservative friends or if your name is Joe, you might find yourself completely turned off by the times when I wax all poetical about my feminist viewpoint.
Likewise, if I know you through my feminazi loving blogs, you may find things I say an utterly INCORRECT SPOUTING of YOUR idea of feminism.
If you are my tree hugging friends, you may want to yell at the fact that I'm proud that I flush the toilet. (Yeah, inside joke..wot).
But THIS is ME. I'm a Christian. I'm a feminist. I'm a mommy. I'm sexually aroused by dark skinned men from California. I have political beliefs that I like to talk about. I certainly have religious beliefs I like to talk about. I am from the South and for all my fussing, I love the South. I'm fat and while I'm working on that, let me tell you....I LOVE ME...JUST THE HELL LIKE I AM. I may NOT lose another pound and I refuse to be miserable inside my own damned skin just because I don't fit someone's ideal. I'll be as healthy as I can be, both physically, mentally and spiritually. By the same token, flying sucks NOT because an airline sucks but because MY ASS IS TOO BIG FOR THE SEAT. The Fat Acceptance Folks probably wouldn't like me because while I'm all about being accepted, I don't think I need to be catered to. HOWEVER, if someone decides to cater to me, they are more likely to get my money. Hello free marketplace.
Anyway.
Wow. Verbal vomitation much?
So, here's why I'm awesome...I'm going to be me. Just me. Anyone I lose because I'm *me*, wasn't really mine to begin with yanoo?
Now, if I could just figure out how to insert that damned Smurfy Blog gif.
ETA: Well, I got the smurfy picture, but I don't have the slideshow thingy so now it just look like I have a thing for Smurfs. Don't judge me.
Monday, September 20, 2010
Y'all Hang On While I Search For My Chocolate Craving
Okay, so what gives with my body right now? It's pretty much par for the course for me to suck on the first day of "dieting" (which, let's just do away with that word, shall we? because it's not good for you and HELLO, the first three letters spell DIE!!!). But. I've been a'ight. No hunger. Except when I got hungry. (Funny how that happens) and then I ate something and just wrote it down in my cheap little tracker thingy. Booya! And TRUST me when I say there's a metric Eff-ton of Crapola going on in my life right now, so why am I not in my black and white cow suit and standing out back mooing mournfully for as much grain as I can get?
And all of those silly questions lead to the biggest question of all. (Hyperbole, much?)
Why am I so determined that I'm going to screw up re-freakin-gardless? In my head there is always a contingency plan. Okay, THIS is what I'll do when I screw this up. Or, if THIS doesn't work, then I'll try THAT. Why can't I just tell myself that this is going to work...because I absolutely *can* do it...I am *not* a Class A Screw Up?
I don't deserve it.
I'm not smart enough.
I'm AFRAID of DOING IT RIGHT.
What if my life doesn't change if I manage to change my life?
What if losing 50 more pounds makes all the yellow butterflies die?
What if Mark stops reading Harry Potter?
What if I grow extra chin hairs?
What if the government passes a law that says I can never get a pedicure again?
My point? One arguement is as stupid as the next. I'm not saying *I'm* stupid, but these excuses surely are. If I let them keep me from where I want to go (in all manner of speaking) then somebody just please come and smack my butt, and not in the good way. Plzkthnx.
And all of those silly questions lead to the biggest question of all. (Hyperbole, much?)
Why am I so determined that I'm going to screw up re-freakin-gardless? In my head there is always a contingency plan. Okay, THIS is what I'll do when I screw this up. Or, if THIS doesn't work, then I'll try THAT. Why can't I just tell myself that this is going to work...because I absolutely *can* do it...I am *not* a Class A Screw Up?
I don't deserve it.
I'm not smart enough.
I'm AFRAID of DOING IT RIGHT.
What if my life doesn't change if I manage to change my life?
What if losing 50 more pounds makes all the yellow butterflies die?
What if Mark stops reading Harry Potter?
What if I grow extra chin hairs?
What if the government passes a law that says I can never get a pedicure again?
My point? One arguement is as stupid as the next. I'm not saying *I'm* stupid, but these excuses surely are. If I let them keep me from where I want to go (in all manner of speaking) then somebody just please come and smack my butt, and not in the good way. Plzkthnx.
Sunday, September 19, 2010
In the Wee Small Hours of the Morning
This post was supposed to be titled "I'm Creepy, But That's Part Of My Charm". But that was an inside joke. Except that if you know me you know it's really not so much. Ha.
And it's not *really* the wee, small hours of the morning. In fact, it's just around 10 in the evening, but that officially makes it about two hours past my bedtime and pretty much guarantees a bit of disgruntlement on my part tomorrow. Not much, you understand, because I am, by nature, an Oh So Very Sunny Soul.
The Watchers of the Weight was joined today. My leader reminds me very much of a WW Leader I knew in a former life iteration and I am alternately thrilled and heartbroken. But she is lovely. And you could see her eyes light up when I walked into the door. "THIS ONE WILL MAKE ME A STAR AND PUT ME IN THE WW LEADER HALL OF FAME", was clearly what she was thinking. Bless her heart.
There was a lady with unfortunate orthodonture in the class who was a lifetime member. There was a mom and daughter team. And there was Carol who will be having heart surgery next week and Linda who snuck into the closet where we keep all the early 80's clothes and is putting on a fashion show. Her goal is to lose 100 pounds and star in the remake of "Flashdance".
And they are brave. Weight Watchers in Trussville, Alabama sits right directly in between the China Buffet and the Frontiera Grill. You see where I'm going with this, I'm sure. It seems like it would make more sense to put the WW next to the Fluffy Ladies Clothing store, or PetSmart, or maybe even an Open MRI office. Right in the middle of Supreme Loaded Nachos and Seseme Chicken may not have been the best choice. I'm just sayin'.
And it's not *really* the wee, small hours of the morning. In fact, it's just around 10 in the evening, but that officially makes it about two hours past my bedtime and pretty much guarantees a bit of disgruntlement on my part tomorrow. Not much, you understand, because I am, by nature, an Oh So Very Sunny Soul.
The Watchers of the Weight was joined today. My leader reminds me very much of a WW Leader I knew in a former life iteration and I am alternately thrilled and heartbroken. But she is lovely. And you could see her eyes light up when I walked into the door. "THIS ONE WILL MAKE ME A STAR AND PUT ME IN THE WW LEADER HALL OF FAME", was clearly what she was thinking. Bless her heart.
There was a lady with unfortunate orthodonture in the class who was a lifetime member. There was a mom and daughter team. And there was Carol who will be having heart surgery next week and Linda who snuck into the closet where we keep all the early 80's clothes and is putting on a fashion show. Her goal is to lose 100 pounds and star in the remake of "Flashdance".
And they are brave. Weight Watchers in Trussville, Alabama sits right directly in between the China Buffet and the Frontiera Grill. You see where I'm going with this, I'm sure. It seems like it would make more sense to put the WW next to the Fluffy Ladies Clothing store, or PetSmart, or maybe even an Open MRI office. Right in the middle of Supreme Loaded Nachos and Seseme Chicken may not have been the best choice. I'm just sayin'.
Fatty McFatterson has left the building
I'm so terribly original, I know. Grits and Pieces was the name of my original Livejournal blog...a suggestion made by my very favorite Jewish American Princess. It still kind of resonates within me regarding the kind of mental processes I have. First: food. Second: a vomitation of all sorts of other random stuff.
I have no idea what this blog will become...much like myself. I have no idea what I will become, although you'd think after 42 years I'd begin to get some idea. But, bizarrely, the iterations of myself change on almost a monthly basis. Schizophrenia, you say? Nah. I just get bored easily.
I still have that LiveJournal blog, although I've named it something else. There is stuff that goes there that is specific to just *there*.
I participate, when I don't suck, in a wonderful blog called My Thunder Thighs. And if I had any sort of linking and HTML skills, you'd be able to click right to it. Alas, that would be a *no*. It's a Weight Loss, Body Image, Kick in the Pants, Hand Holding, wonderful kind of place. There may be a touch of that here as well, but this is going to be mostly about me. In case you didn't get the memo, I have replaced the Sun as the center of this particular Solar System.
Anywhodle. I imagine there will be Weight Loss talk here, as that is a particular struggle of mine. I'm joining Weight Watchers for the bazillionth time this afternoon.
I will probably also at varying times talk about spiritual stuff, because I can be kind of navel gaze-ish that way. And I might mention college football, a blue-eyed boy named Nathan, a hyperactive Papillon named Chewbaka and the fact that my breasts are uneven. It's a mixed bag 'round these parts.
So. Hay. And welcome. And stuff.
I have no idea what this blog will become...much like myself. I have no idea what I will become, although you'd think after 42 years I'd begin to get some idea. But, bizarrely, the iterations of myself change on almost a monthly basis. Schizophrenia, you say? Nah. I just get bored easily.
I still have that LiveJournal blog, although I've named it something else. There is stuff that goes there that is specific to just *there*.
I participate, when I don't suck, in a wonderful blog called My Thunder Thighs. And if I had any sort of linking and HTML skills, you'd be able to click right to it. Alas, that would be a *no*. It's a Weight Loss, Body Image, Kick in the Pants, Hand Holding, wonderful kind of place. There may be a touch of that here as well, but this is going to be mostly about me. In case you didn't get the memo, I have replaced the Sun as the center of this particular Solar System.
Anywhodle. I imagine there will be Weight Loss talk here, as that is a particular struggle of mine. I'm joining Weight Watchers for the bazillionth time this afternoon.
I will probably also at varying times talk about spiritual stuff, because I can be kind of navel gaze-ish that way. And I might mention college football, a blue-eyed boy named Nathan, a hyperactive Papillon named Chewbaka and the fact that my breasts are uneven. It's a mixed bag 'round these parts.
So. Hay. And welcome. And stuff.
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